ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
