So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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