it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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