stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
