I can tuck mytits in my pants
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
