So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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