He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
