Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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