he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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