White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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