I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
