There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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