i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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