It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
