no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
