He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
