Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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