the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
