just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
