I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
