Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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