Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
