remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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