and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
