I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
