I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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