fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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