a search helicopter?!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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