I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
