Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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