i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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