READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
