She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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