Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
