ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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