so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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