I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
