im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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