Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
