dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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