glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.