I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.