some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.