im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Watching her eat just hurts me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.