FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My dick has a subreddit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind