i think my tv is drunk
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
