ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
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winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend