We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
