This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
