Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
