My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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