the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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