Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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