A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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