So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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