I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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