Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
