I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
