mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
