I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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