We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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