At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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