So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
