My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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