Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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